Flamer's Guide on how not to get Flamed
by Wrathful Phoenix
Summary: A Guide for you people who don't know how to write a good fic.
1. Chapter 1

**Flamer's Guide on how not to get Flamed**

Hello, and welcome to the Flamer's Guide on how not to get Flamed.

Today, we will be discussing the basics.

Spell Check:

Its amazing how many idiots out there refuse to use their spell check button, I mean seriously, how hard is it to push one fucking little button? Not that hard right? Now you know why we make so much fun of people who don't spell correctly

Proof Read:

LEARN TO PROOFREAD YOUR GODDAMN FANFIC. If you feel that your story isn't worth your time to proofread it, then nobody else probably wants to read it either, In which case, just press Ctrl-a, then the delete button.

Plot:

Please don't lower the average IQ of people on this planet by submitting a story full of things like Sues and spelling errors, and random crap that doesn't make sense.

Example of what not to do: & the n Toff sayses OMGZ!!!! THERSSS A TrolLLLOLOL in front of USZOrz. Letsass erthbends its outa ta w4y.

…Yeah don't do that. If you do, I will hunt you down and rip out your rectum so you can't shit into stories like this anymore.

After being Flamed Once:

Example of what not to do: OMG, some asshole flamed me, I have a right to my views, and he shouldn't make me change that. Don't flame me, it hurts my feelings. I cried about it to my mommy, and she bought me a nice pink flamingo, and that made it all better.

Yeah… That's just asking to be flamed. You might as well paint a giant target on your chest out of kerosene, and camp outside a flamethrower shop. Seriously, don't do that.

Chapter 2 Coming up Soon


	2. Mary Sues

**Most Frequent Plot Screw-ups**

Aaaaaaah… one of my most favorite topics. Where shall I start?

Mary Sues:

There are several definitions for this, but I'll put them all together for convenience sake.

A Character with overuse of clichés

Tragic past

Last survivor of some dying race

Etc.

Some long lost sister or best friend or something like that

Example: "Hi" said a mysterious girl "I'm your sister, you don't know about me because I was born after you went to live in a temple. I'm also an avatar too, and I have been traveling with my friends Kataro and Taph who are my bestest friendses who are my earth and water-bending teachers. They're also avatars, and I have the ability to bend shadows and light bulbs, and engine-cleaning fluid. I am also a master at bending all of the four original elements."

Some kind of animated version of the author (like one who shares the same name cough Sushichica)

These really piss me off, and if I see one, I will make fun of you until you kill yourself, or delete the story (and then kill yourself, but I'm not picky)

Any character who is too powerful to be possible

Example: And then Judy, Aang's long lost sister blew up the fire lord's kingdom in one blast. Several soldiers attacked her but they were no match for her. Then she attacked the fire lord and Azula at the same time, knowing that they were no match for her either. She blew up the entire fire-kingdom. YAAAAAYAYAYAYASSSSS!!!!!!!

Canon Rape

Fucking with the personality of a canon character.

Some kind of added crap

Dude with kitty ears or a half lizard avatar or something like that.

If you need to shit, DO NOT DO IT IN A FIC, that's what toilets are for. And don't start fucking up the canon character's personalities. That's not fan fiction, its nothing more than a useless daydream. I have never seen anything as worthy of being called tripe as something with Aang being some idiot who randomly has sex with inanimate objects, Katara slitting her wrists, then trying to kill herself, and then having Sokka being a man-whore for like 50 cents per hour. Canon Rape is against the law in fan fiction, and if I catch someone doing it, I will hurt you mentally and physically.


	3. Jebus tats a fanci?

So… Yeah…

There is one thing that I absolutely cannot stand. There are too many flamers out there. People are starting to forget that flamers are supposed to insult crappy fics, and compliment good fics unlike several other people out there who only compliment fics. A seemingly new definition has come out of the crappier slums of FFN. Flamers now seem to be people who flame EVERYTHING. These people give flamers a bad name. I need people to help me show these idiots what flaming really is. Here is a recruitment link  you want to go straight to the action, fight with me at the flamer's guild heres the specific link to the correct topic:  please.

Anyway back to this chapter. I am now taking requests from anyone for things to put in this guide.

Jordana Kari wrote the following: "Can you put in a part about same old zutara story that everyone writes.  
Katara gets separated from her group.  
She is injured wither from falling off Appa or previously.  
Zuko finds her miraculously falling from the sky.(This is usually the part  
where I stop reading and just leave.)  
They fall in love with each other and Katara cant bear to leave him so Zuko  
joins the group."

Yes Jordana, I too have noticed this idiotic pattern. Please people if you wish to write a Zutara story, then please don't put this kind of Sparklypoo wankage into it. One more of these, and I will force-feed you your genitalia. There have been too many idiotic instances of these pathetic excuses for fan-fics. Even a story with Aang's long-lost sister popping out of the sky after running away from a long lost air-bender temple whch was abusing her after which she found out that she was an avatar too only stronger and could bend metal, paper, steam, chicken, styrophoam peanuts, cheese, thoughts and magic would be better than this. I would not even use crap like this as toilet paper.

Oh yes, and when you create a fan-fic, do not have your characters bending metal and lightning left and right like its some kind of bendy straw. Metal bending and lightning bending requires prodigous skill. Its not something you can do left and right over and over again.

By the way here is a good example of a Mary-Sue: Aang fired a blast at this new person who claimed to be his sister. She dodged it. Aang then fired earth and water blasts at her. She calmly rose her hands, and a wall of metal blocked Aang's attacks. She thrust out her hands, and metal daggers flew out at Aang stabbing him in the side, leg and arm. She then pulled out two poison darts the poison on which she had stolen from the mouth of a rare species of dragon could kill anyone who did not know the proper antidote. She however, was the last survivor of the race that knew its secret, so only she could cure it. She thrust the daggers effortlessly, and watched Aang attempt to airbend them away. Little did he know, she had use magic on them making them impervious to attacks.

This my friends is a Mary Sue. Indestructible, amazingly powerful, the last surviror of a dieing race blah blah blah. If you ever have the urge to make one of these go to a Walmart, buy a bat, and hit yourself until the urge goes away.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ I thought that went rather well. Might not update my chapters for a while, gotta write a poem for a girl to get her to go to homecoming with me. Adios.


End file.
